wow, it has really been over a year since my accident! january 20th, 2008 was by far the most life changing day of my entire life thus far... easily, this past year changed me more than i thought possible. people surprised me with their loyalty, and people stunned me with their lack of compassion and value of true friendship. my family came to my aid and was truly my rock through my recovery process. i got myself out of an unhealthy relationship, recovered physically AND mentally, allowed myself to open up to someone again, and finally settled into a place where i feel that i'm where i'm supposed to be. i could go on and on about how sad i was to lose certain people in my life, but that would make it sound like i regret them, and i certainly don't. i don't regret their friendship by any means, however i do regret the fact that i had to realize their worth in my pool of friends through such a tragic occasion. 2008 was quite enlightening for me...
i am incredibly happy with my life right now. just like everyone else, i have my little gripes - not enough money for this, have to fix that, wish i could tone up, be more organized, etc - but i have stopped dwelling on the small stuff. it's true, you really can't sweat it because when you do, you lose sight of the bigger picture - that picture you're painting with every little action you make. i say, why not paint it with bright adventurous colors that bring a smile to your face instead of down-trodden boring colors that make you frown with worry and concern? obviously i'm not saying live your life completely carefree; that would just be irresponsible, but live life with less of a load on your shoulders. things can wait, and other things, you can make time for...
just remember, the people who really matter in your life are the ones who will sit on the phone with you, in the middle of the night, while you're upset and having a mini-meltdown or ones that will lie to the hospital operator on the phone just so they can talk to you in the trauma center to let you know that you're going to be alright and they're on their way from 300 miles away. find those people in your life and thank them - they are SO important! i truly don't know where i would be without those people. and never accept friendship or love out of pity - i learned this the hard way. once the pity fades, so does the affect.
i welcome 2009 with open arms and see it as an opportunity to experience new things and grow stronger - emotionally and physically - as i learn new things, meet new people, and all in all- live my life with more of a sense of who i am and who i am to become. i am thankful for my scars everyday for they remind me of the path that i have wheeled, crutched, limped, walked, and will soon - finally run...
god bless!
